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Ok… Here’s the thing… we have like a week left

If you haven’t heard already the LHC (Large Hadron Collider) for all you idiots out there is going to spin up and start firing neutrons or protons or whatever it fires sometime next week. So, if your like me and think that humans making a black hole somewhere in France / Sweden sounds like a bad idea and is going to end up like Doc Oc from Spiderman where it starts an uncontrollable chain reaction that eventually envelops the whole world and destroys humanity as we know it. …. Then you are resigned to the fact you have about 6 days and 23 hours left to live on this wonderful planet.

SO, I wanted to air some things out before we all perished by being compressed to a millionth of our normal mass. This is my way of making amends for things I have done, everything I feel guilty for.

First off, Michael Phelps isn’t my first but definitely my most intense man crush. Which is weird since hes not even attractive like my other ones (Brad Pitt and Jack from Lost)… I guess its the all around being perfect thing.

Secondly, I want to apologize to the fat girl that sat in front of me in high school and always wore the really tight shirts that showed off every curve…. in a bad bad way. (Who knew you could have rolls on top of rolls?) For making fun of her amongst my friends many a times… and in this post.

Thirdly, I pee in the shower. every day.

Fourthly, I watch the OC, and I like it.

Fifthly, If I was given a choice between curing cancer or holding hands with Lindsay Lohan pre-crazy. I would flip a coin.

Lastly, and most importantly… I write posts of all sort for attention. Its a sickness. I crave your comments like Robert Downey craves the crack. The Bucket of Awesome is a sham …. its built for you to love me, to lift me up as your leader, its not about the awesome…. its about me.

I’m sorry world. Hopefully now when we get sucked into that vortex of blackness …. I can rest with a clear conscience.

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